


What He Could've Been

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: FBI, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 19:00:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11697906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	What He Could've Been

It had taken her nearly a decade to come back from the Amerithrax case. She was still salty as all hell at Strauss for throwing her under the bus, but it didn’t matter anymore. Now, she was here; she’d earned this, and she was more than ready to get to work. 

She looked into the mirror as she got ready that morning and noticed the wrinkles forming near the corners of her eyes. Over the last 15 years she had been through so much - too much. First, she lost her son to a disease that still didn’t have a name and then she got fucked over at work. And not just a little bit fucked over, but kicked-down-the-ladder-with-people-beating-her-relentlessly-as she-tried-to-climb-back-up kind of fucked over. But that was behind her now. She was moving forward. And in a way she was lucky, because she and James still loved each other very much. Their lives were a little unconventional but it worked for them. 

Before one final glance in the mirror, Alex felt a buzzing in her pocket. James, of course.

Knock ‘em dead, babe.  
With a smile, she looked at her reflection one last time. She’d been through so much, but she was still smiling. She hoped Ethan would be proud.

—–

When she walked into the Bureau that morning, she held the locket around her neck. On one side was a picture of James, and on the other was Ethan. Her two boys - close to her heart at all times. She stepped off the elevator and into the bullpen. Her first order of business was a talk with Strauss, as well as the Unit Chief, Aaron Hotchner. During the meeting, she dismissed Strauss with the grace she could muster and kept her attention on Agent Hotchner. “Welcome to the team,” he finally said, extending his hand towards her. She took it with a smile and thanked him for everything. “Are you ready for your first case?”

“More than ready, Agent Hotchner,” she replied.

“Please, call me Aaron.”

As they made their way outside and Aaron called to the rest of the team to head toward the round table room, she caught sight of her new teammates. She’d worked in the Bureau for most of her life, so she’d heard the names of most of her new team before, but she’d never seen them. She assumed that Jennifer Jareau was the blonde in the striking navy blue pant suit and red pumps, while Penelope Garcia was the eccentric other blonde, walking effortlessly in four-inch pink heels and an equally striking pink dress. David Rossi was the only man she knew; they crossed paths before, and it felt nice to see a familiar face. Hopefully, Aaron would pair them up out in the field so they could catch up. Derek Morgan was a striking presence, following her into the round table room and introducing himself with a brilliant smile. “Derek Morgan, nice to meet you.”

“You too,” she said, turning back around as she finally entered to room. It was Ethan. But it wasn’t. Something about him made her see Ethan as the older boy he never got to be. This must’ve been Spencer Reid - the youngest on the team and known for being a genius. The way his light brown hair fell in front of his eyes reminded her of the way Ethan’s hair drove her crazy when he was still here. She always wanted to cut his hair because she assumed it was getting in the way, but he never cared. Spencer’s eyes were similar in color to Ethan’s, though Ethan’s were just slightly darker. Underneath though, they both radiated warmth and kindness. Apparently, Aaron had already started introductions as Spencer gave her a small wave and mouthed hello. Alex found herself clutching her locket even tighter. 

She knew that today was going to be difficult, but not in this way. 

Today was supposed to be the day she confronted the reality of her life and reputation within the FBI, not the day she was reminded of her beautiful son and how he’d been taken away too soon. As the group sat down at the table, she tried her best to shake the way she was feeling - a mixture of elated and depressed. Starting anew and yet being pulled back in time - to a time and place where she had been perfectly and utterly content. Spencer was the embodiment of what her son could’ve been and honestly, she had no idea how to deal with that fact. “Alright, let’s get started,” Aaron said, giving her a small smile. 

With that, Alex shook her head and banished the thought. For now, she had to focus on the case ahead. There would be time later for her to get lost in what might have been.


End file.
